Frugal Plus

Paperback: 234 pages
Publisher: Outskirts Press (October 29, 2009)
ISBN-10: 1432745778
ISBN-13: 978-1432745776

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In Elephant à la Mode, An Epicurean Guide to Life, published by leading self-publisher Outskirts Press, Dr. Roy Nakai shares the wisdom he has acquired through the tragedies and triumphs of his life as they were filtered through his unique heritage and tradition. It is the unusual and fascinating story of the pursuit of the American “Dream” by a man whose life started out with that dream completely denied him.

Born into the Manzanar concentration camp in California during World War II, T. Roy Nakai was able to shrug off the shame that debilitated many other sansei immigrants with the same stigma. His father’s generation, who were at the forefront of isolation in these camps, passed on to him both the notions of isolation, shikata ga nai, and of perseverance, gaman. Shikata ga nai, which means “it cannot be helped,” was an often repeated phrase in the camps and was used to justify their historically significant plight, while gaman, to persevere, did not allow for the idea of defeat.

After the war the author proved himself a success as both a scholar and an athlete in high school and in college and embarked on a successful career as a pediatric dentist, a husband and a father. Gaman was a concept he had embraced.

At the height of his success his fingers were crushed in an office accident. In a blink of an eye his 25 year career as a dentist ended. He struggled to re-invent himself. Again, through gaman, he began to see a new beginning for his life. Then a second, far more devastating tragedy struck. His only daughter, still in the prime of her life, fell into a coma and died.

Dr. Nakai needed and sought professional help. Through a series of conversations with his therapist and with help from his daughter, he learned to understand the lesson of his forefathers and to accept the life of shikata ga nai.

Elephant à la Mode contains the inspirational axioms of hope and wisdom Dr. Nakai took from these conversations, now addressed to his daughter Leslie as “Lessons I Never Told You.” Dr. Nakai offers these lessons in self-help to those who have suffered their own tragedies in life so that they, too, can know that there is life after death, and that there are lessons to be learned from the trauma of everyday life.

Elephant à la Mode, An Epicurean Guide to Life, is, in the author’s own words, “a gargantuan feast of life’s journey, one course at a time.”

The Author’s Title is a metaphor that refers to the obvious requirement for life. In this powerful autobiography, he shows us even through some surprising humour, the horrible experiences both himself and his family endured during WWII ,and the consequences of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.

Not only did he survive and make it to become a successful dentist, he had yet another tragedy to overcome. Combine all of this with normal, everyday issues that we all face, and it is an amazing, inspirational read!

You will appreciate the Author’s compassionate and brilliant writing. The ability to resurface from such a dark period in the manner he has, is an inspiration to us all.

Lessons Learned…

On Heritage

1. Embrace your heritage for yourself and your children.
2. Share with others your culture and heritage.
3. Appreciate your parent’s struggles for they helped to create your character.
4. Appreciate your parents’ sacrifices for the gifts they have provided you.

On Success

1. To persevere, you must stay the course.
2. You will sell yourself short if you do not stretch your potential.
3. Your character and aspirations are best displayed in person.
4. Pay excellent people well and they will reward you with excellence.
5. You will never pay the price if you are a hands-on visible employer.
6. Formal contracts allow you to sleep at night.
7. Financial success does not always follow the mainstream thinker.
8. Spreading yourself too thin can create havoc in your life.
9. Your financial health and well-being requires expert professional assistance

On Parenting

1. Your child’s behavior is created and directed by parental instruction and guidance.
2. Gaman at two will remain for a lifetime.
3. Monitoring your child’s interaction and resulting behavior with playmates is significant.
4. Encourage your children to discover their capabilities and limits.
5. Your two cents opinion for your children today, may be invaluable for them in the future.
6. Never, ever, sacrifice special times with your children for work; it is a poor payoff.
7. Spending quality time with your children will be your greatest reward in life.
8. When your child needs you, be there. Do not cheat them or yourself.
9. Love every minute of a butterfly’s life.

On Friendship

1. One careless word can destroy a lifetime of building mutual trust.
2. Sometimes life decisions are in the best interest of others
3. Color is skin deep, but the heart lies deep within you.

On Mentoring

1. Our mentor’s advice should never be taken for granted.
2. Mentors helped create who you are, and can assist who you can be.
3. Learn from the mistakes of others, you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

On Happiness

1. There is nothing better than a good laugh, no matter how old we are.
2. The ability to laugh at ourselves is a great character asset.
3. Exercise caution and good judgment; you can’t fix stupid.
4. Take yourself more lightly, life is much too short to do otherwise.
5. Know your limits and know your priorities.
6. Pursuing your dreams may be costly, but do it.

On Hope

1. Don’t underestimate your capacity and potential.
2. You may not be an outcast in a different environment.
3. Overcoming physical and emotional trauma requires time.
4. New opportunities arrive when you are flexible and have an open mind.
5. Don’t dwell on why things happened, move forward and persevere.
6. Most jobs do not require artistic ability, remember, skills are learned
7. Never destroy a person’s hope, it may be the only thing they have.

On Grieving

1. One is never prepared for tragedy; it just is.
2. Crying is an expression of deep love.
3. Grieving is personal and only requires time and patience.
4. Remembering our loved ones is part of living.
5. To get to the next day, embrace whatever touches your soul.
6. When your life is shutting down, seek guidance.
7. Healing will happen, but not one minute sooner

About the Author.. Click on Roy’s Photo to learn more…

Dr. Tsuyoshi Roy Nakai was born in the Manzanar War Relocation Center during World War II. A matriculant of UCLA with a Doctorate from UCSF, he went on to receive his advanced degree from the University of Washington and to become a dentist with board certification in pediatric dentistry.

Elephant à la Mode, An Epicurean Guide to Life, is Dr. Nakai’s first book.

A Special Thanks goes out to Roy and for the opportunity to Review such an Inspiring Book!